Twas the Night Before Christmas - In Longmont?

A Longmont Visit From St. Nicholas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and there was no doubt,
Half of Longmont was ready to close this year out,
The ballots were stacked in their piles, one by one,
In hopes that the recounts were finally done,

The lawsuits weren't settled, but the end could be seen,
And with luck, they'd be done by 2014,
And mama and I had just come back from State,
Saying "Next year they'll win it -- Big Blue will be great!"

When out on the lawn, there arose such a ruckus,
I looked out to see if Balloon Boy had struck us,
Or whether an airplane had crashed from the sky,
Thanks to prairie dogs lurking in ambush nearby.

I looked o'er ten inches of new-fallen snow,
As the wind brought the chill down to 20 below,
When what should my wond'ring eyes see with a squint,
But a miniature sleigh with no carbon footprint!

With a little old driver, all rumpled and tossed,
That had to be Santa -- and he sort of looked lost,
He buzzed past some coops as he pulled on the rein,
And the chickens kept cackling as he called out in vain,

"Help, dash it! Please answer! Can somebody fix this!
"My Wi-fi's gone out and I'm 'bout to deep-six us!
"I'm over construction and starting to stall!"
"Follow me!" I told Santa. "Quick, head for the mall!"

Like llamas that run from a big wildfire,
Santa's sleigh streaked on forward, as he fought to stay higher,
Along past the highway, St. Nicholas flew,
Knocking down 30 cones and a power box, too,

He somehow kept on 'til Twin Peaks came in sight,
And it looked just like heaven despite all the blight,
Some last-minute shoppers looked up at the sound,
As down the parking lot sleigh and all came with a bound!

He was dressed all in red, just like every depiction,
And a passerby stared, then pulled out a prescription.
"Better call my dispenser," he said in his shock,
"He's gotta grow more -- man, this stuff really rocks!"

A SWAT team pulled up as St. Nick left the sleigh,
(Just in case -- after all, it had been a slow day),
But he held up his hand, and a hush hit the throng,
"Just a few words," said Santa, "for I cannot stay long."

"As you know, I've been keeping a very long list,
"I know just what you like and what wouldn't be missed,
"I've brought presents and toys from one year to the next,
"But frankly, this year, Longmont has me perplexed."

"RTD wants to know if I'll bring FasTracks rails,
"Some reporters are asking for missing e-mails,
"I've got pleas for civility, calm and respect,
"All accomplished at once -- and without a blank check."

"But some Christmas gifts can't be provided by elves,
"If you want this done right, you must do it yourselves,
"That's your job," Santa said, as he walked to his sleigh.
"But I'll give my best wishes -- and a new Chik Fil A."

He took to the sky without waiting for clearance,
So ending his strange and amazing appearance,
But I heard him exclaim as he set the controls,
"Merry Christmas ... No, Rudolph! Look out for the poles!"

Scott Rochat from the Times-Call wrote this poem. Spectacular! I hope to do more joint projects like this in the future. I can't wait to see the published piece.